Hi, friend. Welcome to today’s episode of grinding journey. I’m Chris. And I wanted to share with you today about intentions versus expectations. There’s a lot of conversation with it being January about New Year new you. There’s the conversation anti New Year New you that you’re great just the way you are.
So what I want to talk about instead of those conversations, because we’re all hearing those that want to talk about expectations versus intentions, how can you be the you you want to be and achieve all that you desire. And for me that’s becoming conscious about expectations versus intentions. I think that we all set expectations, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously. And then when we set these expectations, they’re never met, or if they are met, we put so much pressure on them that once we get there, we don’t even get to enjoy the place we have achieved. So I’ve really started focusing more on my intention, consciously setting my intentions, you know, and so some expectations I can think of is we expect the best out of ourselves. So we push really hard to achieve that goal, to reach that plateau. And then we get there and we worked so hard to get there, that we forgot to enjoy the journey along the way. And we missed the experience. And now I’ve put these incredible expectations on Kevin as he went through school, because I was going through school at 40. And I wanted the best for him. And so I didn’t let him have his own journey. And I miss part of his journey, because I was so frustrated when he didn’t do what I thought he should do. So whether I knew that I had these expectations for him or not. I was hindering his experience and I was missing out on the journey.
So another thing that really comes to mind to share about expectations is my family took a trip to Peru in 2021. We did a 14 day trip that included a seven day hike. It was an amazing trail. We wrote a book about it. It was a trail that so few people do in a year the amount of people who visit Machu Picchu in a day do this trail and a year it’s called choco ki Rao. It is the last Yes, I get confused if it’s the last or last. The last Inca excuse me the last Inca civilization. It was discovered in the 80s. A farmer was using it for his cattle I believe the story is and please forgive me if I’m saying the story wrong. So we trained for months for this trip. We bought all new gear. We did all sorts of stuff to get ready for this trip. I had a friend who had been in Peru several years ago, and had a huge heart opening experience. I have another friend who goes every year for medicine experience and comes back in an amazing healed place. So I was going to Peru to hiking in the nature. I was going to spend all this time connecting to myself connecting to Mother Earth and it was going to be amazing. I was going to have a huge heart opening experience because I was working on my chakras and it would be my heart month.
And I went and it was harder than I could have imagined. I got hurt on day four. We didn’t make it to one of the passes that we were going to have to do because of my injury and a friend’s inability to get there. So we had to change our
our plans. My injury ended up taking 16 weeks since I got home to heal.
I was so frustrated and so disappointed when we came home because not only had I spent all that time training or all that money, buy new equipment. But I didn’t have that heart opening experience that I was expecting. I didn’t have that connection to Mother Earth. that I was expecting, because I was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other. It was just such an intense hike. I also didn’t consider the fact that I’m a five to female. And I did this trail with eight men, my husband, our son, one of our bestest friends, and then all of our trail guides are cook all that stuff.
So I had all these expectations about what was going to happen and what I was going to experience.
And I missed all that I got home, I got back to the hotel, even just in Lima, before we left to come back to the States. And I was mad, I was disappointed. I was in pain. I was just generally pissed off, didn’t want to do anything else. The flight home was miserable. Like, I let that trip end. on a bad note.
I got home, I struggled with my knee for two weeks, I could hardly walk because I did too much damage to it and a fall. finally went to the doctor. They told me 12 weeks, it took six weeks to 16 weeks to heal. Somewhere around week four. Oh, and I was mad because I was in such good shape. Because I had trained for four months for this hike. And I trained like three days a week, anywhere from four to 10 miles hike in a day. It’s an amazing shape. I had planned on spending the summer camping and hiking with our dogs, and all that stuff. And it’s eight months later, and I’ve hiked twice. So not only was I upset about the trip, but then I got home and I was disappointed all my plans have changed. I wasn’t going to be able to get outside, there was no way I could even walk down the street, let alone go for a hike. Somewhere around week, four or five of star to be an eight angry. I was tired of people asking how the trip was and me just feeling was okay. I started finding the good things to say about the trip. And I realized I was starting to actually see the experience. So it took me four or 568 weeks to see what that lesson in the trip was for me. And for me it was about surrendering, it was about releasing, it was all about letting go of expectations. And I think I’m still getting part of it just recording this now. So I didn’t waste the trip. But I almost missed the lesson and the experience in it because of my own expectations.
And then I would have had to repeat it. And when we don’t get the knowledge from an experience that we’re supposed to get, we have to repeat it until we get that knowledge. It’s not a linear thing. Sometimes it’s a cylindrical thing. So we may re experience it, but on a different level. And if we don’t get to that experience, and I don’t want to use the word lesson, because that puts an expectation on it. But if we don’t get the experience that our soul needs to grow, then we’re going to relive it, we’re going to re experience it. And quite honestly, I don’t want to re experience release and surrender and letting go and trust. I want to just get it so that I can move on to the fun stuff.
So my family was going to Sweden this year.
We’re taking our son and his girlfriend, it was the first trip she’s ever gone on with us. We were going to be gone for 20 weeks, 20 days, not 20 weeks, that’d be great. 20 days, I was going to get to be with my family again, I was gonna get to show Kevin and Rose, all the things we love. And my husband, I’m the kind of girl when we travel that less is more. Let me fall in love with the place. And maybe I’ll come back if I fall in love with it because I got to really experience it. Matthew is more the person who quantity over quality. We got to get it all in because we may never come back. And I promise you if we’re running from thing to thing, I’m not going to fall in love and we’re not coming back. So we’ve kind of learned to travel together.
And by that I mean he’s learned to slow down. So, on this trip, Matthew and I were gone for 10 days and then the kids were joining us for the last 10 days of the trip. And I remember at some point, Matthew asking me and I don’t remember the words he said but asking me was having fun Was it all I had planned. And I said to him, I didn’t have expectations for this trip. Because of Peru, I was disappointed. And it felt like it was a wasted trip. But what I had was intentions, had the intention to take a breather, had the intention to show Kevin, what we love about Sweden, as an adult, to show he and Rose, why we love to travel together, and to be present with my family and watch as they learned what’s so awesome about traveling together and seeing new things.
And we had some struggles here and there, you know, we didn’t get to see the Northern Lights, because it snowed the whole time. While we loved the snow, had I been stuck on showing the kids in northern lights that I had seen two years ago, I would have been greatly disappointed. We had some challenges with flights on the way back, getting delayed and things like that.
And none of that stuff ruffled me, it didn’t fluster me like it had with Peru, because I was about the intention of the experience, about the feelings that I was going to feel instead of the things I was going to experience. And so had I set the intention for Peru, to grow and experience and be present fully. I think that would have been completely different. Instead of expecting to have a heart opening experience, expecting to meditate every day and be connected to Mother Earth in a way I’d never had. And with Sweden, I just had the intention to be present to watch Kevin enjoy it to show them everything we loved. And we were all tired. And there were times that we each took turns being cranky. But on the way home, Kevin says to me, Mom, I hope you feel appreciated. I hope you enjoyed the trip with us. And we always do, what’s your top three favorite things. And so when Kevin did his top three favorite things, it was seeing one of the museums he had seen as a kid, but seeing it as an adult and finding a new appreciation for it. It was having rose on the trip with him. So when he came back, he could talk with her about it instead of tell her about it. And number three, there’s a clock in the town that I lived in, that he loves. And that was his other one was getting to show rose the clock that he loves so much. So right there, my intention to show them why it’s so much fun to travel with is number two, to show them the things we love. He got to do that with Rose and his number one and number three were my exact intention. So to me, it was really a conscious answer of setting a heartfelt intention versus creating expectations. And I don’t feel like I wasted the trip. And I don’t feel angry and I didn’t feel like I wasted the money. Even though you know everybody had a little meltdown at some point. It didn’t take me four weeks after we got home. To think positive and have good stories about the trip, I was able to say good things about the trip on the way home from the airport. So that was a big lesson for me and expectations versus intentions. I’m getting ready to launch the new grounding journey products on Etsy February 2. And so for me, instead of setting the expectations of what I’m going to sell, I’m setting the intention of supporting others in their journey through the chakras through their spiritual exploration, touching all those who are looking for that and adding my little piece into the world. So no matter how many I sell, or how much profit I make. For me, it’s the intention of connecting with other souls who are seeking. And that’s just where I encourage you today. When you’re thinking about if you did set new year’s resolutions or you didn’t, what you have your goals for next week or this week to get done. I really encourage you to think about starting each morning with an intention, starting each project with an intention not of where you want to go and how much money you want to make but what you want it to feel like at the end. Because when we set those heartfelt intentions, we’re way more likely to feel good than to just achieve them because you can get there. I climbed three mountains in Peru. I finished but I didn’t enjoy it. There was a lesson in it. For me, I received it, but I almost missed it. So a couple of the things that I’ve been doing to consciously set my intentions is I love Joe Dispenza work. If you haven’t checked out Joe Dispenza, you can find him. He’s got lots of great videos on YouTube. I listened to his meditations each morning. And he has you set where you want to feel what you want to. And I’m blanking on the words he uses, but I really encourage you to check out Joe Dispenza. Another thing I’ve started doing is I smudge myself each morning, I really mean to smudge myself each morning and each night before and after work. Honestly, I rarely ever remember at night because I’m just ready to get off the computer and out of my office. But I smudge myself, intentionally sabotage myself, so that while I’ve got the stick, I am waving it through all parts of my body and saying, I remove all that no longer serves me, I open myself to the goodness of the day, so that I’m consciously making those statements to the universe. I also love to play songs. The one I’m playing right now is it venture of me by Rob, I think, Ricardo, it’s a great song. If you haven’t heard it, totally check it out. I can’t play it for you because they’ll block my podcast. But it’s an adventure of me, you can find on Spotify, I’m sure it’s on YouTube. It’s a great song. And I dance around the room and I set my intention. This is my journey. This is my experience. And when I sit down to write or I sit down to design stuff for grounding journey, I have a little Selenite candle on my desk that I liked. And in that lighting of the candle, I take that conscious moment to say I call in my guides, angels, my loved ones, all those who are going to help me create an offer and fulfill what it is I’m supposed to do and my purpose. So just taking those little moments to open the container and set your space is a great way to do your intentions. an hour into my day, I’m focused on responding to clients and helping them with this or that. But my candles still burning on my desk. And when I look up I see that light and it brings me back to my intention for a moment. I’ve talked about it before I used to wear a bracelet that had bells on my ankles every time I walked it reminded me to think happy thoughts. So I encourage you to find what would support you and setting your intention for the day to set a heartfelt intention, not an expectation for yourself. I hope that was a benefit for you. I know just sharing it gave me even more insight. Thanks for being a part of my journey, and I hope to be a part of yours.