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Unedited Transcript┬áPodcast with De’nicea Hilton July 2020 Play

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Okay, I’m going to start the recording, but we’ll just kind of get comfortable real quick. Sorry. No, you’re good. Cause it just, it just no worries. Okay. Definition of play. It’s a verb and a noun engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose, amused oneself by engaging in imaginative pretenses, the boys were playing cops and robbers. Now activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation, especially by children, behavior or speech that is not intended seriously. Kevin will enter that. Okay. Welcome to this week’s play episode. I’m excited to have my guest. De’nicea Hilton here to discuss the word play. As you heard, our intro play has several different meanings. It’s a verb and a noun, and I’m excited to see which one resonates with us today. When I was checking out her website, I saw that De’Nicea CA creates playful healing spaces for women, women. She’s a holistic play activator and a doctor of medicine and founder of the anywhere you want to be perfect playground. It sounds like lots of fun to me, all of her programs center around the intention to help women embrace and body and express her perfect, authentic self. I think that’s awesome. Like we all need to do that and learning that serious healing doesn’t have to be serious. Are you ready to play?

Speaker 2 (01:33):

Oh, of course.

Speaker 1 (01:35):

Hey, thanks so much for joining us today. Tell me why you picked the word play.

Speaker 2 (01:39):

Thank you, Cris. I’m so excited. So I chose play because of really what you said in the definitions about really life doesn’t have to be so serious and because of my background and Oriental medicine, like the healing doesn’t even have to be so serious. Right. And the definition, one of the definitions that you had even mentioned recreation, which was so funny because there’s a program that I have and it’s called the recreation center and I didn’t even know about that, but interplay. So I think then that’s just another example of just how kismet and divine everything is. I think that when we play, we invite a part of ourselves. That’s Willing to take risks, really willing to see that things can be an adventure. I’m really willing to like take the lessons that come from it. And then really, as you said, enjoy it. So like really? Yes. How is it that I can help add in joy into your healing process and into your healing journey?

Speaker 1 (02:55):

Right. I love that. I love that you talk about bringing it into a healing journey. One of the things I am on a 10 month intensive yoga teacher training. So I next weekend as recording today, this coming weekend I say is actually module four for us. And so we’re really getting into the physical part, the spiritual part. And I know that’s a big part of your Oriental medicine that you’re working with is really bringing the mind, body and spirit together. And so I wanted to start the conversation. I mean, we’ve started the conversation, but when I found is I’m reading right now, the yoga of breath step by step guides, Honiara, which is by Richard Rosen. And as I was reading it last week before our call, there’s a whole section about play. And I think this sums up like this will really give us a good place to get started because you know, Oriental medicine is so serious. Yoga is so serious, it’s a practice, it’s a training and we don’t have to be that serious all the time. Which, you know what, before you read it, me this like,

Speaker 2 (04:01):

And he, he know what’s interesting though. Is, has you said that all I saw was that little happy Buddha statue, like where, where, yeah, like, it seems like it is, it’s so serious. Like, and it’s like, I mean, people are in pain, right. You know, going through the dying process and all that kind of stuff. But then at the same time, I just see like, there’s a little Buddha. Like he’s totally like

Speaker 1 (04:28):

Just peace at peace with what is it’s awesome deaths. My son got them for me a while back. Yeah. I mean, that’s exactly the thing. It’s we take stuff so serious sometimes that we lose the fun in life, so, okay. So I’ll read this cause it’s a really get us going. And I stumble some days when I feel the pressure of reading to an audience, you know, like I was the kid in second grade. He’s like, no, I don’t want to read out loud. I don’t want to read out loud. Okay. So as opposed to training, true play is revolutionary. While tradition, conserves and preserves play turns over a new leaf, turns things upside down, stands. Things on their head were urged to play around and not follow the rules to take risks, to be spontaneous. Childsplay, open-ended free play experimental play at my ear.

Speaker 1 (05:33):

Incentives are inventive. Excuse me. Play is accessible to everyone. This is my favorite part. If we recognize and Revere the world as the play of the goddess, we can join an imitate, this play and everything we do. I love that. See, I told you you’re gonna love this. Rather than distance ourselves from the world and play, we engage ourselves in the world and integrate into the game. Play recognizes the inherent freedom and unique wisdom of the inner self. There’s no outer authority. And so natural inclinations and the prompting of the inner self not technique. Impel our exertions finally play is the process oriented and present oriented, present oriented. There is their future goal except to keep the play going. Like, wasn’t that great? That’s why I needed to read that today. Oh my gosh, because do we get so focused and we forget to play, you know one of the things that while I was reading this the other day, I have this girlfriend and she’s got two kids and one’s a special needs kid. They’re beautiful kids and beautiful souls and they’re so playful. And I saw a while back that she had gone to a food truck festival with them and she posted like 110 pictures. So she was so busy taking pictures that she wasn’t playing with them. Like, and we lose that innocence. And, you know, to say, to connect with the goddess, like, that’s what we’re here for.

Speaker 2 (07:19):

Yes. Oh my gosh. There are so many parts of that. You got me sitting here and going, okay, I’m going to have to get that work just because of that section. Cause like it’s totally, totally my intention behind, behind everything that I do right now. Right. So like, and one of the things that really pointed that really drew my attention was even it is the different types of play for sure. Definitely that and because in that way, people can see that there’s no right way to do it. Like, cause that’s, that’s you bringing in the, creating the box, right. We’re saying there is no box, you’re opening yourself up to these possibilities. Right. And I think like you know, in regards to your friend with with the pictures and whatnot I actually started finding that I start to explore like, what is there?

Speaker 2 (08:22):

Right? Like what’s there, what’s behind it. And sometimes for some, like, I just like to have the conversation just to see like, are you really like present? Like, and I’ve been with, I’ve been with the friends that post. Right. And there are definitely times where on the as a person, who’s a participant in whatever activity that we’re in, where you, it crosses your mind like, wow, are they really as engaged? And then you start going through that like judgment tunnel of am I boring them? And now the thing is, is that it’s probably not even about, it’s not even about you. It’s really not. It’s not even about you. And so if that is how they, they choose to engage or like there’s something going on where that’s just what they need for that time. That’s fine. I know for me personally, I’ve definitely gotten the, you know, being out at events and if you’re doing online work and all this stuff, then people want to see pictures and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 (09:24):

And I said, well, you know what, I’m going to have to get blessed with a team or something because if it’s me right now, like I’m so focused and I intentionally want to be right here that I’m not actually thinking about this picture or something like that. Right. And then I might think about it like later. And I’m like at the same time though, I just totally appreciate like being like right there, you know? And yeah. And so it’s, it’s definitely one of those, I will say that because of being an entrepreneur like that, is that part where you are thinking about, okay, well that could be, could have been a good picture for marketing purposes for something, you know? And then at the same time though, I go, you know, if I share what my experience was or someone else shares with their experience was, and may have a pitcher than gray, but other than that, I’m going to just feel really, really grateful. And just to be in that moment to be present in that moment and to experience the joy, to witness the evolutions that happen as I’m right there. It’s one of those that I don’t think that a picture could do that justice. I know a picture’s worth a thousand words, but to witness an evolutionary process for someone is priceless. Like in that picture less to me, like, it’s not like I don’t. Yeah. It’s kind of like, how do you really take a picture of that?

Speaker 2 (11:03):

And it’s, and it’s their journey. And so I personally feel like if that’s what they want to share then awesome. Like that’s up to them, but I’m giving that to them. Like that’s not my place, you know? So it’s kind of, I dunno how I got there, but that’s how I, well,

Speaker 1 (11:20):

I think that present and play really go hand in hand with each other because you can’t fully play. And to me, playing is enjoying the moment playing is being present. And if you’re not present, it’s so hard to play. I know for myself, my son is 19. So he’s graduated from high school, but his junior year of high school, it was like looming over me that he was, you know, getting ready to graduate these days were numbered. And that was really big for me is that I really consciously made an effort to be present so that I didn’t miss his last year at home than I did miss his time. And I found myself more playful. I found myself not taking as many pictures, but taking them like with my mind. Yeah. And it’s funny. Cause you know, my day job is a social media marketing. And like, if you ever look at my social media, you’ll, you’re like, why would I hire her?

Speaker 1 (12:21):

You know? And I have photos in my phone that come up in Timehop and I’m like, Oh, I never posted that one day. I’m not going to have this phone and I’m going to wish I still had that picture, but I’m so present and trying. And I mean, I don’t get it right all the time. Let me tell you, I don’t get it right. Most of the time. But when I do get it right, I’m like, because I really get to play and you know, and sometimes playing for me is just observing, you know, observing my son, interact with my husband, observing my son, playing with the dog, observing, you know, other people playing because then I get to be a part of it. Yeah. So to me, those two go so hand in hand, present and play.

Speaker 2 (13:08):

They definitely do. And that’s a big, that’s a big, big part of it. And like I was just talking about this earlier today too. Was that because one of your definitions even referenced the child and at first I had an internal eye. It’s not just children. And then I was like, actually, this is the part of the child that’s within us. So theoretically, I’m going to say, yeah, it applies, you know? But if you just sit there and you simply witness like what children do as they play and like, it’s amazing, it’s beautiful. Right? Because they really don’t. They really operate from a place of so much presence that there is no thought into the future. Like there is. And then it’s almost like they have to be taught about the lessons from the past. Meaning if I did move my foot this way on the balance beam, I fell one time.

Speaker 2 (14:16):

So I may not want to do that. And so like then even that is one of those where you would want to say, well, maybe not move it that way, but maybe move it this other way. Don’t let that not allow you to take risks later on. Right. Thinking that for every risk that you take, you’re going to fall, you don’t really know. Right. And so it’s really cool to, to just be there. And I love your example of, of even seeing how it is that you play differently. Because that is where I see a, of people getting hung up like, well, what is, what is the right way like to play? Like as it is it these board games, do I go to happy hour? Do I like, what do I do? And I feel like it’s this in the context of play that I present is that it can be any of those.

Speaker 2 (15:15):

My only I don’t want to say rule where maybe it is a rule because it does apply to everything is that it comes from a place from within and it comes from a place from within that you would feel that you would actually experience some peace. You experienced the joy. Like, and so that’s the difference that I would say, because then when people ask those questions about like, well, what do I do? And if you find that you’re even having to like, it’s cringing kind of overstretching of yourself to do something. It’s not like, it’s not the stretch that, Oh my gosh, this is uncomfortable. Cause I haven’t done it, but I’m still going to do it. Like it’s a completely different one that feeling the math, the type that’s like probably not for you. And that if you continue to do that, then that’s where you move further out of alignment of your spirit, mind, and body. And so it’s like, yeah, you want to be present to accept that it’s adventure. Just like from the book and it’s going to stretch you it’s cause you don’t, you’re literally traveling into the unknown. Right? And so that is that type of play that I work with is all of what you described in hen. It’s really seeing that acronym part of it, which is the potential and learning about yourself.

Speaker 1 (16:47):

Oh, I like that. I really liked that potential and learning about yourself. Okay. I got to write that down. That’s a good one.

Speaker 2 (16:57):

And since you’re reading the yoga one and you’re doing that yoga intensive, you’re going to get a kick out of this. So I actually would do guided meditations and visualizations. Right? And then I sped better realizing I’m saying, play my stay at the end. And the thing is, is I’m actually saying it where it’s understanding where Nama state comes from in the traditional sense. But really what I’m saying is yes, the potential in me is actually seeing an honoring the potential in you. I like that. And all of that,

Speaker 1 (17:35):

That’s really fun. Thank you for sharing that, that, wasn’t something we talked about ahead of time. So I’m excited that you’ve said that when you said acronym, I’m like, huh, but now I love that because it really is the potential of learning about yourself. Because when you back to the child part, when you relax and allow that child in you to come out, you do really see your potential. When you were talking. I remember my son was maybe five or six. You know, I was working really hard. You know, I was that in that stage of like I’m mom, but I’m working and weekends, I’m working all week long. So weekends, it took me a little while to unwind and my dad had just retired and he would come over and get Kevin on the weekends and spend the night at Kevin’s house. And my dad came home one day with Kevin and was telling me all the fun stuff they had done that day.

Speaker 1 (18:27):

And I must’ve had a look on my face when he was talking to me and he said to me, he’s like, you’ll get your turn. You’re just trying to figure out how to survive right now. You’ll get to be a grandparent one day and you’ll learn how to play again. And I swear that day. I was like, no, I’m not going to miss his childhood because I don’t know how to play. I’m going to learn how to play now. Yeah. You know, and because we forget how to play. We somewhere along the way and high school and college with all the studies and all the pressure of what we have to do with our lives. And then we become parents or we become, you know, young adults who were, we’ve got to survive, we’ve got a pair car payment, we’ve got to do all these things. You know, society tells us, we have to have and not to get on a society, kick butt, like standards. Our parents tell us, we have to have that. We forget completely how to play.

Speaker 2 (19:21):

Well, I think it’s also, so a few things popped up. Like one of them being that wine, which is really cool is that there was a belief system that was there that you actually did not agree to. And you changed it. And so in that, but that belief system is for a lot of people, which is we’ll wait until you’re a grandparent and then you can play again. And it’s like, no, it doesn’t have to be right. And so you saw that in you, you changed it. And then you created a different life for yourself where you are able to incorporate the play. Now I don’t know that necessarily that we forget to play or forget about play because we keep doing things, trying to fulfill it, but we don’t see it that way. Right. Like, so we are, it comes out differently, right? It’s like, it’s like, Oh, I’m so stressed out.

Speaker 2 (20:22):

So I’m going to go to a happy hour or I’m so stressed out, I’m going to go, I must get a massage or I’m so stressed out. I’m gonna go take a smoke or something like that. Right. And in some regards that actually is a form of play for them. And how that is that they are managing what they’re perceiving in their environment. Right. When it’s this type of play, the intentional conscious play, then one would learn that, huh? Maybe those activities that I was doing, I thought I was, it was play. But really it was me possibly not trying to address what actually is the stressful event. And so I’m not actually addressing the stressful event, I’m covering it, which is why then they like, you know, those, those types of what started out. So innocently as one drink or whatever might turn into something such as alcoholism or turning into like smoking addictions or, or something like that.

Speaker 2 (21:30):

Right. So like because it didn’t start out that way. And so if you have this conscious play coming in, right, it can become sort of like a ritual, like a rich, purposeful ritual that you’re choosing. And what way, like, do you really want you to experience your life? One of the things that came, brought up or I thought about actually was dr. Martinez, he discusses how, cause you’re asking people to be like, well, how is it that so, and so can smoke their whole life. And then they live to be a hundred something, something without lung cancer and blah, blah, blah, or right. So, or this person’s drinking wine every day and there’s no liver disease and all of this. Right. And so one of the things that he noticed out of interviewing so many centenarians and whatnot was that those practices, those people were actually creating a ritual out of it.

Speaker 2 (22:34):

It was not a routine. So that was the difference. And then I was listening to this cases more and more. And then I started seeing it in other areas as well. And because I was wrapping my mind around routine versus ritual. And the thing is, is that they might have the glass of wine, but there is a sense of, of presence and joy and purpose into the wine. Like they weren’t just drinking wine because their day was stressful. It was literally a part of them sitting and enjoying the flavors and the tastes while on a patio and observing the neighborhood or observing someone outside gardening. And it was like, it was a richness to it. It was like the, even to the cigar smoking, it was a richness to it. It was ritualistic. And then what you’re saying, it almost sounds like they were present, they weren’t numbing, they were present.

Speaker 2 (23:38):

Right. And so then I feel like that’s where, that’s where those you know, those physical conditions pop up is because the core reasoning behind you engaging in that behavior was actually stressor a stressor. What was, what’s the stressor? And so if it’s a job that you don’t like, or you’re experiencing some things there and, and whatnot, then what can you do to change that? So because, and then that’s when you see that, Oh, well, now that they’re in these, in this happier work environment, or even out of relationship or they’re in a different type of relationship, then all of a sudden they’re not drinking as much. Or the smoking is not even happening as much or all of the other behaviors that might be more detrimental to them because it was in response to a stressor that was removed. And so then it’s like, well, I’m just enjoying life, like so much more. And it’s like, awesome. Like with that core thing was being addressed. And they finally like got into a part of themselves that they created that environment around them to actually corroborate with their inner self. And then therefore the behaviors don’t necessarily, they’re not like reactive anymore. So yeah, they can go and get a drink, but the drink is going to be because they enjoyed the drink and they just enjoy the presence company and whatnot, not as a reaction to a stress response.

Speaker 1 (25:15):

That makes a lot of sense. I haven’t ever really thought of the depth of that

Speaker 2 (25:21):

To being

Speaker 1 (25:23):

Present versus numbing. I mean, I know there’s days that I’ve had a glass of wine cause I’m like, I want to numb out, but then there’s other days that, you know, my husband and I will go to the winery, we have a really great winery down the road from us and go hang out on the patio because it’s sunny and it’s Sunday and we want to listen to music and we’re present. And that comes back to finding those little things that are rituals that are playful, that are present moments.

Speaker 2 (25:49):

Right. And, and, you know, like I’ll say that even then it’s the, this is, this is like the psycho neuro immunology really long word. [inaudible] Really long word. But basically it’s the study of how it is that we how it is that we think and how that actually would affect our, our bodies and our, on the biological cellular level. And so imagine then if you were engaging in something that was stressful and like the body, all of a sudden goes into it’s fight or flight, like, I mean the pupils change, blood flow changes. You’re not getting blood as much to nourish the organs. Because they’re going out to the limbs. The blood’s not even in the form, it’s not in the forebrain anymore. It’s moving to the back because it’s tapping into the survivalistic areas of our, and then you add in alcohol cause it’s toxin.

Speaker 2 (26:49):

Right. So I just told you that all the blood function and whatnot that needs to go is not in those areas. Right. So it’s kinda like it’s going to linger and then we aren’t processing it as well. Right. Where our decision making is skewed because we’re not getting proper oxygenation cause the blood flow wasn’t even in that area of the brain. And so like when we really, when you aren’t under these, these stressors, it’s being mindful that they’re even present. Cause sometimes we get so used to it that it’s like, Oh, and I’m, it’s happened to me. Like, and that’s when I’ve had to rely like on my body to show me and I’m paying more attention to it. Like I might be a little bit more stressed out than I think when, so what do I need to do right now? And you start to change course and you just kind of go with it.

Speaker 2 (27:49):

Right. Like, and, and that’s the beauty of the play because it is that level of presence. But then it’s also being open to like, what’s going to be adding value to me right now. Like what is valuable right now to help me get into alignment where I am at peace. Right. And what is that like, what does that look like? So, and this is why some, some days, and sometimes it follows the cycle, like the lunar cycle or it follows the menstrual cycle. So for if there’s any women that are like, well, I didn’t really know. And then that’s cause that’s the other thing you attach to the experience you attach to that form of play. And you don’t want to, not once did we say to attach to it, it’s just experience it for what it is at this moment and appreciate it for what it is at this moment, understanding that at a different point in your life, in a different phase of your life, that may not be applicable anymore.

Speaker 2 (28:48):

And so like I have seen it where literally like during the cycle and there’s other women but talk about this as well. Like Lisa Lister that it might be a time that dancing is more of your play at some points of your cycle versus like a more internal type of play such as just sitting back and just observing by yourself in a park that’s still a form of play. Absolutely. You know? So like even then if you’re asking yourself, well, how can I be guided as to what would work for me? Sometimes it’s even as simple as turning to your own cycle and seeing where you’re at. Like PMs is a, is an issue like a lot of people make it into a big deal. And I’ll tell you that. I, my, my experience when I started my practice, I focus a lot on reproductive medicine.

Speaker 2 (29:43):

So I saw menstrual cycles are my thing. And, and I’m going to tell you, PMs is actually one of those that I feel like if you actually learn more about the cycle and you learn about the fluctuations that occur during the cycle, you might actually learn that during PMs, what may come out is this frustration like, and people are like, Oh, she’s so angry and blah, blah, blah, that actually, if you ask yourself whatever it is that might have preempted, that response might have been something that was already an issue for you. And it’s just that hormonally, it switched over to the predominating hormone that is not tempering anymore. What it is that you’d want to say. It’s just, it is what it is. And it’s very Curt and it’s Frank at that point of the cycle. And so like you don’t, Don’t, self-talk in a way that is putting yourself down because your arm just PMs thing, or even offering that to someone else, cause that downplaying, it is not actually helpful. It’s, it’s really what they’re talking about is not because their PMs thing actually an issue, it’s actually something. So create the space for them to address it.

Speaker 3 (31:03):

[Inaudible]

Speaker 2 (31:04):

Create the space for you to address it. And then that way that internal stagnation actually starts flowing and it starts moving in the more and more you’re in alignment with what actually is going on in what it is that you want to address. And you start taking action towards that. I’ve seen it a number of times where the cycle changes and the period pain reduces the PMs reduces. And it’s simply because you got into alignment with what your inner spirit really wanted and what your heart wanted. And you start moving in that direction and the physical body is showing it

Speaker 1 (31:37):

There’s so much. I think that we Ms. Reed when we talk about what you just said about when we listen to our our heart and we’re connected to the inner alignment of my last podcast I did was all about soul and how, when we’re not listening to our soul, or we’re not connecting with our soul, how off we get. And you know, and you definitely can kind of contribute to this with being random medicine that when we aren’t in alignment, so many physical things happen to our bodies, the ailments, the backaches, like you were discussing BMS. You know, there are some times that it’s just, I have a mosquito bite and it itches, you know, but then there’s other times that I’ve got back pain or neck pain because I’m carrying the weight of the world right now. And we don’t see how we’re in alignment or out of alignment to really shift back or we’re so far out of alignment that we can’t see right in front of us.

Speaker 1 (32:40):

That’s trying to tell us we’re out of alignment and that all comes back to connecting the mind, body, and spirit, and really listening to the triune of them and let them communicate together because our body is an amazing thing. It’s a temple that holds our soul here. Yeah. And if we allow our heart and our mind and our body to all connect, we’re really able to move through our journey. As you said, when we were talking previous that it’s a journey, not a destination. And we have to let all of that connect together so that we can really follow her heart and our purpose. And it’s not, it’s so easy to say it, especially when you and I are just chatting. Like I know right now, as I’m keeping all like, Oh my gosh. I mean, I read something in yoga recently that was like, it’s a practice because you keep practicing some days you’re good at it. Some days you’re so far off of it, some days you don’t even know what you were trying to do because it’s such a practice.

Speaker 2 (33:38):

But the beauty of it is that your only thing that you’re charged with this is be present. Yeah. Just be present and like not judge it like, right. Like whatever it may be will be. And then that’s it. Right. And that, that whole, what you said about that, just the body, like it’s so important to really take a look at how it is that you do look at your body. Some people don’t even look and don’t want to look at their body. Right. That, that tells you a lot. Right? Like, and, and even then it’s like, if you can reframe it and re change, like change up the relationship that you have and understanding that it is this representation, it is a representation of your spirit. It’s a representation of your mind. Like it’s there. And so if you, whatever it is that you can do to help support you and to going into this adventure and going into this journey, you know, like some people do need that support.

Speaker 2 (34:46):

This is why we you’re in a yoga intensive. It’s not just about knowing warrior one in warrior two. It’s more than that. Right? And so like that, like sometimes we just need that guidance. We need someone to just hold that space because it can be a space of vulnerability. That’s what was also what you had pointed out to it is this place of vulnerability. And when you’re going into play like this and going into really learning about yourself on that level, and it’s like, it can be scary, totally scary, terrifying, and can be absolutely peacefully rewarding.

Speaker 1 (35:30):

It’s always rewarding. On the other side, if you just sit in the uncomfortableness and you observe and learn what you’re supposed to learn from it, you know, be the Phoenix and the fire, watch it burn around you and then come out because you will rise. If you are following your heart and your mind, and your body are in alignment and you’re doing what your soul is here to do, then you will rise out of it. You know, you’re not going to burn with it unless you’re not in alignment. And that’s, you know, like I said, it’s easy for us to say it tomorrow. I may not feel in alignment like three hours ago today. I was like, I don’t know if I can talk about play. Cause I’m not feeling it it’s June, it’s rainy. It’s 58 degrees, you know? And I’m like, so, so allow yourself to have the ups and downs experience the ups and downs, not just crave the ups.

Speaker 2 (36:26):

Yes. That’s a part of embracing all of you that, and that’s, that’s where I come from. When I say this is perfect play, like this is the perfect playground. And it’s intentional, meaning that perfect. The root meaning of perfect is whole and complete. So when you can realize that you are whole and complete meaning exactly what you just described, the parts that may be uncomfortable, right. They’ve hearts that you deem as the ups in the parts that you deem as the downs, the, like all of that, you it’s feeling and embracing all of it, because all of it is you, when you try to repress your, your brute pressing with this energy, like you’re spending so much energy trying to repress it. And then you’re spending a lot of energy trying to use coping mechanisms. You’re using a lot. But then how is it really that you can just say, you know what?

Speaker 2 (37:24):

Yeah, I am feeling this right now. Let’s just see what happens though. And like five minutes as I allowed us to run through me and things can totally change five minutes from now. And that’s just the art of being present. But then also seeing that you have nothing to fix about yourself because you are whole and you are complete. It’s just those pieces of you are on these spectrums. And then where are you on the spectrum? How is it that you can use those parts of you harmoniously to your spirit, mind, and body, but not even just to you, but even to the collective consciousness, there’s a reason why that’s there for you because that’s a role like there, there’s something about that that’s adding to others and it’s just, how is it that we learn to use it? So asking yourself, how much is it that you’re repressing those parts of you that actually are ultimately the gifts of you?

Speaker 1 (38:28):

Oh, that’s beautiful. I mean, like you’re speaking to me friend, that’s just beautiful. It’s definitely one of those that, Yeah. I always make the joke that I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist, but my husband might and trying to let go of that and, and really just be with

Speaker 1 (38:53):

Who I am and where I am and where I am now is not where I’m going to be in five minutes. It’s not where I’m going to be in three days. It’s not where I’m going to be in six months. And, and we’re also on this journey. You know, that sometimes we put pressure on ourselves is how we’ve got to get to where we’re going. And we focus on the destination instead of the actual journey of getting to know ourselves, realizing our own potential, because why are we here on this earth? We’re not on this earth just to be born, get a degree, raise kids, get a job, have a house and die. Like there’s a purpose to it. And whatever your faith, whatever your belief is, there’s you can’t disagree that there’s not a purpose. You know, we are all here for some kind of purpose, whether it is to grow and get to know ourselves, whether it’s to support somebody else, who’s going to be making an impact in the world.

Speaker 1 (39:47):

You know, whatever level your purpose is. To me, I think our purpose is to get to know ourselves, to experience life, not to just live it, you know, and being present and being played. And it comes back to present in play. And, and I love the conversation today has really connected the word present to play for me because until I read that and you know, I’ve read this like three times, cause I tried to read it so that when I was going to read it on camera, that I wouldn’t be like stumbling or, you know, and, and I just let go of it. I let myself say, I’m going to look at the book the whole time I’m reading and I’m not going to look at the camera and that’s okay because I wanted to be present. I want you to read it. Right.

Speaker 2 (40:31):

But you might look at the video later and you’ll see that even my, my head’s down because I’m, and it’s, I’ll tell you it’s because if I have to really, really intentionally listen to something like that, the way you amped it up for me, I have to actually close my eyes. I don’t, I don’t usually talk on the phone a lot either because of that. Like, and then, cause I’ll, if I’m on the phone talking to you, I’m going to really try to be like intentionally with you. So sometimes I’m literally like in the room and my eyes are closed because that’s just literally how focusing. So like, you’ll go back and you’ll see me like this and it’s not like we thing it’s just, I was just like listening. I was really feeling the words and whatever way that it comes out, physically, it’s all good. Cause we just connected heart to heart and soul.

Speaker 1 (41:22):

Well, and really putting, like I was saying, putting the word play with present because I,

Speaker 1 (41:29):

I don’t play blocks. I don’t play Plato anymore. I mean, I have a niece be 10 and I play beads with her and I try really hard to do that because that’s what she loves to do. And she’s my girlfriend. Like I didn’t have a girl because I couldn’t have afforded to have a girl. And then teen years would have hit and it would have been ugly. So I have a niece that’s two hours away and I get to love her with all my heart and then go home. So I play with her, but to think of now is the word play is being present. Whatever that verb is for you, of being present in your life, whether it’s sitting and watching the neighbor, ride their bike on the street, whether it’s watching the birds fly, whether it’s, you know, just connecting and playing and feeling present.

Speaker 1 (42:21):

So I thank you for the word today. Cause now I’m like, it’s a holiday meeting. I’m going to put it on my board for the week because I’ve spent so much time being present. And you know, I think if you focus on play, you put too much pressure on it. If you focus on present, whatever word you’re focusing on, you put so much pressure on it. So if you can take it and be like, this is what it means, like mind map it here’s play. And these are all the things that means and try to do these, then you get to do this word. Yeah. And that makes it kind of fun.

Speaker 2 (42:53):

Yeah. In a way it’s like, take it. And that’s how you take that from that, that seventh energy center and bringing it down into the tangible, in that way. Yeah. And however way, and that’s, what’s the beauty of this when it comes to play it’s however it is that it integrates within you at that time, because you’re going to change. You’re evolving, you’re evolving all the time. I know that it said recreation. I call it recreation because you’re recreating all the time. And so, and each time that you’re recreating, there’s a different, you’ll find that your needs change. And so like to really just be there, it’s really cool to incorporate the play that’s appropriate. And that would add value to you where you feel Healy. Like it just resonates with your soul. Like it’s a whole different other feeling it’s not passive or anything. It’s just, wow. Like I’m there. I’m really there.

Speaker 1 (43:58):

Yeah. I love that. I’m so grateful that you brought that word today and it’s definitely given me some really new outlooks. I like that. I only do one podcast a week. Cause then it gives me the week to really think about what we talked about. And, and you know, the whole purpose of this podcast is really to have deeper conversations that you don’t get to have on a regular basis to have new conversations with people outside of your circle. So that you’re able to kind of expand your thought. And, and the, the name of my, I don’t want to call it company or brand podcasts, whatever the name of my journey right now that I’m on is grounding journey. Because through these kinds of conversations, we’re grounding ourselves, which is an ongoing process and we’re journeying and that’s what makes it so fun is the people that you meet along the way that you’re open to that you can connect with that you would not, you know, I’m in North Carolina, you’re in Florida.

Speaker 1 (44:53):

We met through an online Facebook post group. You know, like there wasn’t a way we were going to probably meet otherwise, but we’ve had this enriching conversation that I’ve got all sorts of notes on. You know, I’ve been writing as we talk. You’ve got a book here now, like I want to read and hopefully our listeners have taken something away from that. And I welcome them to comment about it or share with us, visit us on social media. We’re going to do a Instagram live in a couple of days once this airs and really bring what you have and not just be a part of our conversation, but start other conversations and connect with other women or have deeper conversations that you might not have had already. Because right now our universe, our energy, our life force, our, everything we want to call it is seeking that connection. Like that’s why there’s so much discourse right now is because we’re not connected and we need to find those connections.

Speaker 2 (45:48):

Yeah. They, in ways that you thought that you were connected, you’ve, we’re finding that we’re very superficial. Yes. And so the sheltering and the quarantining took that away from, to call us to go deeper and to connect in a different way. And now you see it that you’re asked being asked to connect soul to soul despite the packaging that it comes in.

Speaker 1 (46:12):

Yes. thank you for saying that. That’s beautiful. I, I’m sad with the Gordon team that has caused so many people to lose their businesses and their lives, but it’s a chance for us to reevaluate and to look at ourselves and everything else that’s happening right now is a chance for us to look, how can we go deeper? How can we connect to deeper?

Speaker 2 (46:35):

Yeah. And you’ve seen it’s it’s you’ve seen like the coolest thing is that you’ve seen where the people, that people, organizations, companies, the ones that you might even call it like an extroversion introversion type thing, right. The ones that were really running in the backgrounds are the ones that are actually being called to come out forward and they’re helping. And, and that is even uncomfortable for them because they’re used to running in the background and being there, you know? But I think then I also see the beauty of literally those grassroots type organizations that have been doing this type of work and whatnot are being asked and stretched to go farther. And they’re doing, you know, and people are seeing it. And so I think that I have a background in the nonprofit space as well. So like to really see to see where people can actually see what it is that some of these organizations do and where you may not have known about this even happening in your own backyard.

Speaker 2 (47:51):

And then how is it that you now you’re even wanting to help? Like, so that, that in this chaos, there’s this level of compassion and conscious compassion, that’s actually building and growing. And you’re seeing like I’m seeing it, like I’m seeing it in all different ways. And it’s just, I’m just so excited to kind of like, I try to stay as present as I can obviously. But it’s just really beautiful to, to see that everyone has been pushed to be uncomfortable right now, everyone on some shape, some form, some level, everyone, this has touched and it’s like, and it’s asking you, like, what are you going to do? And so now we have a choice. And so it’s really cool to be like in spaces like this, you know, like thank you for offering up this space as well. So like, I really appreciate you doing that. And cause it’s, who knows who this might touch and who this might change and just from having a conversation about one word

Speaker 1 (49:03):

And it wasn’t great. Like, I mean, you have helped me and hopefully I’ve given you a little bit to think about. And like you said, one more person and I’m so grateful for you being here today. And I know that our listeners are going to want to learn more about you. So do you have some new programs coming up? Like what do you have going on that people want to hear about?

Speaker 2 (49:21):

Yeah. I have, thank you so much for that, by the way. I’ve my space is my website really right now, which is@De’Niceahilton.com. I, you can catch me on Facebook and LinkedIn, both at De’Nicea Hilton will be on IgE live and I will totally be there. I do have a profile. There’s just like how much I’m there?

Speaker 1 (49:48):

Well, maybe we’ll do Facebook live then instead we’ll, we’ll figure it out. We’ll announce it

Speaker 2 (49:54):

Either one, I’m going to play with it. Like, you know, I’m going to go, just go with it. But yeah, like it’s that recreation aspect of of you’re constantly recreating and you’re evolving, that is represented in the membership that I have. So that it’s every month, like I’m just kind of feeding off of what it is that we’re members are calling for or what it is that the environment’s calling for and putting together like live workshops and live play groups is what I call them. They’re like our live play group consultations and whatnot, where I’m bringing in, I’m bringing in like that Eastern medicine side into this play. And then where is it that you’re at? So I can help guide you and give you insight and tips. Another one that people are really liking are these day retreats that are the unsung lumber parties and total fun experiential time together, where we really do come to awakening into our souls and to our spirits.

Speaker 2 (50:59):

That’s the unset lumber part of that name. And then also I have a group mentorship. So the group mentorship is more of a intensive in the sense that we meet more regularly live going through these different concepts. That’s a part of the perfect alignment playground. That’s the method so that you can understand these concepts and apply these as you grow and evolve. Like if that’s the one thing I’ve noticed is when it’s a message for you and a lesson for you, the packaging and the way it looks will be different until you learn this lesson. And so and so with, within the group, then the group mentorship, that’s how I, I offer ways that you can actually be able to learn these lessons through these different perspectives. And so that way you can call on those whenever you need to and everything. My intention is to have the playful spaces and my attention is to guide that. And so I say, it’s guiding you and just kind of meeting you where you are and then seeing how is it that I may be able to help guide you into coming into your alignment and then really your perfect, authentic self to express and to express so harmoniously.

Speaker 1 (52:21):

That is amazing. I mean, you had me at the name on slumber party, but once you explained it a little bit more, I’m like, I thought then summer party was like, it’s a day party, you know, but when you say

Speaker 2 (52:31):

We were partying, I think that’s great. I am sure that these ladies that are listening in are going to definitely check you out and want to know more. Yeah. And I would love to just hear just those Cris said, like, just hear comments about from the conversation or our play for station. Like what, what came up for you during this whole process as well?

Speaker 1 (52:54):

I had to write that down flavor station flavor stage that I will list all this stuff below the podcast and on YouTube, I’ll have all your contact information. We’ll have some good notes about what we talked about so that our listeners can remember all the stuff I wrote down. Cause I’m sure I got them to you. But thank you again so much for your time today. It was so much fun.

Speaker 2 (53:16):

You know, it was just great. And I thank you for being here. Thank you.