Weaving Spirit Into Our Daily Lives

with

Tatiara

This is an unedited Transcript.

Hi, and welcome to today’s episode of grounding journey. I am super excited to have my friend Nikki here. And I have to tell you, we had our little intro call to make sure it’d be a good match and answer any questions and the whole time we were talking I just felt this full body. Yes, yes. So I’m excited to have you here, Nikki. So Nikki is a tarot and past life reader with 35 years experience. She crafts custom blended essential oils based on the energy of the reading, and is currently working with archetype work and facilitate online workshops where we seek to alchemize stuck energy. And what I thought was so neat about the Tarot when I checked out your website, is you go by Tiara that’s kind of your magical realm name. And what was so interesting was at 15, you started working for witchy herbs shop, and the owner gave you a gift of your first tarot deck and it was an herbal Tarot. So in today’s episode, we’re going to talk a little more than just your standard tarot, there’s so much more elements that you bring to that and that, like, I’m getting excited talking about it with you. So thank you, Mickey so much for being here.

I’m very happy to be here. And I always appreciate the opportunity to talk about my passions. So thank you.

Absolutely. And we’re gonna talk all about your journey. And obviously I just mentioned it started when you were 15, working at an herb shop. And that’s what’s really cool, is when we get that opportunity to tap in so early, because there’s definitely that struggle through life. And so tell us about tapping in at 15. And kind of what that journey has looked like in the beginning for you.

So 15 was pretty much the turnaround in my life where I became who I am now, in many ways. It’s like, it started to show me my trajectory where I was headed in life. I may not have known it fully at the time. But so I had a very, you know, traumatic religious experience during childhood. And so when I met Karen, she saved my life and she changed my life. And she’s awkward hearing then doesn’t like it, but I don’t care.

I can’t imagine. So I

started working for her. And just being in the shop, all the smells, I would weigh the herbs, I would pour the oils because you know she would buy them in bulk. And I put them in the jars. And I was just in my place. It was my place. I was just so happy to be there. And I finally found someone who saw things like I did even though I didn’t quite know what it was fully at the time. And just having that herbal Taro. So I learned the symbology of herbs along with the taro and essential oils and, and astrology and everything just boils down to energy for me, you know, and just having that really just beautiful, life affirming energy in my life, and I’m ever grateful, you know, just because I don’t know what would have happened to me, I would have, you know, thought I was crazy, I guess,

which many of us do, because we don’t have that mentor at age 15. So let me back up and ask you a couple questions. Where were you living when you were 15? Like, what part of the world were you in?

I was living in Dayton, Ohio. Okay, yeah. And she lived in Waynesville. So it’s kind of like out in the country. And it was just her son was my best friend in school. And it was kind of funny, because he’s like, Well come on over to my mom’s house. She’s weird, like you

love it. And so Dayton in that time, like, give us a timeframe, because obviously, we said you’re 15 and you’ve been doing it for 35 years, so we’re not shy about your age. But what

on 50 Whoo, congratulations. Yeah, thanks. So it was 9087 Okay. And it was a time of like, around the time of that Harmonic Convergence where all the planets were lined up. So I have to think that has something to do with it. You know, I really feel astrology and I would not be so surprised at all if that had something to do with it, and just what as soon as I saw Karen, it was like, okay, so she has like, curly silver hair and all kinds of crystals on she just always, like, just so, you know, like, into everything and just real cute. You know, it just like made me feel like what I had to say was of interest, you know, it was really a gift and a natural self too. So,

and I imagined that Aedes Dayton, Ohio was not you know, we’re not talking 70s San Francisco, so it was definitely a struggle for you. I’m assuming I shouldn’t put words into your mouth. But I’m guessing that coming of age into your herb world, now, were you somebody who was outside and played in nature and went for hikes and things like that?

Yes. Okay, so I lived right next to a huge cemetery. And it was also it’s also an arboretum. So it’s just a really beautiful hilly place, and I would go there just to walk because I loved being outside. And, you know, always felt the mystical, you know, feelings of being in nature. That being said, I’m not a camper, or a rough and that kind of person, you know, I’m not like outdoorsy like that, but I appreciate the beauty of nature. And I did when I was younger, you know, it was kind of like, different from the other kids around, you know, I was always different, you know. And Dayton has had some avant garde, you know, it’s been an avant garde place, but I was not in touch with that. It was like church every Sunday, every Sunday night, every Wednesday night, and then we cleaned the church on Saturday, and I went to Jesus Camp and survived. So

I love and survived. What and it sounds like you had a really neat opportunity. And I think that that’s one of the things, you know, some of us just want to be in nature. And we don’t understand some of us know that we need to be in nature. And it’s that whole evolution of coming to be comfortable with, as you called it, air quotes weirdness, but I would just call it with our authentic self. And, and I imagine that you may have dealt with some of that, because your best friend who grew up in that environment said, she’s like yours. She’s weird. So let’s talk about what that felt like for you. Kind of coming into embracing your own

self. Okay. Well, when my friends said that he meant it as a compliment, because he’s weird, too. But yeah, definitely I you know, okay, so I have the North Node in Aquarius, I am here to push boundaries, I’m here to usher something into the next phase. And so I really seek to help people be that authenticity and come from that highest truth. And, you know, me getting here was not 100% Easy, like, you know, I, you know, I was bullied in school, it’s called Elvira, and Nikki six, and all that stuff. And, um, but it that I always looked the way I wanted. So it was like, I got admiration for it on some times, and then consternation from others, you know, but I’ve been able to be myself for a really long time, more than average, and that’s my favorite quality in people is when they aren’t looking around to see how they should be. And that’s what I really want to inspire people to check within, you know, what lights you up, not what does, you know, so and so say, should light you up? You know, so it was just a journey of pretty much I had to be myself to survive, because I was in such a constricting situation, which has its gifts, right? You know, it forced me to feel what I really feel, which was life affirming, and not the life denying style of religion that I was in?

Well, I think that bringing up the religion because I had a guest recently, who was a believer, and I definitely like to think of myself as a seeker. And I was raised very Catholic. But I was also raised by a dad who said, Okay, you’re old enough to find your religion and your beliefs. And so I was very fortunate that my parents granted me that space. And you know, the thing that they taught me was to find it and believe in it, and believe whatever I believed, but believe in it. So that is another whole element I think so many of us are facing. And I hear that with a lot of people who are diving into yoga as the beginning of theirs that some people think, Oh, well, it’s a call. It’s, you know, it goes against your religion, and it’s really finding those tools and exploring what resonates for you.

Exactly. Well, I’ve been doing yoga on and off since I was about 22. So I love it. And regarding religion, so at its best it is guidance and it is motivating toward beauty towards your truth. But religion is generally you reviewing someone else’s spiritual experience. I mean, some paths may be different, but generally, you’re not as encouraged to have your own or doesn’t is valid. But I believe that that personal gnosis of spirit is, is where it’s at. And if the framework of religion takes you there, absolutely, you know, because it’s not like I’m saying it’s bad by any means. And I’ve seen the best and the worst of all of all stripes. And, you know, it is all about coming to your own relationship with spirits, whatever you call it, the divine, your higher self, or, like, I even do readings for atheists, you know, and it’s like, we tune into that symbology, because, you know, there’s a better way of being, you know, so it’s really just what speaks to you. Beyond the level of fears and conditioning and whatnot.

Well, and I think that’s a beautiful way to put it as it’s a way to connect with you, I am working on my yoga teacher training 300 hours, so I’ll be 500 hours completed. And one of the things that the class that I’m taking talks about is Hindu and yoga were brought up side by side, from the same time of era, they’re like brothers living in the same house, where Hindu is teaches you to embody the gods and goddesses and that they are the higher strength than the higher power, where a yoga teaches you to find those same qualities within you. And that’s what I really like. It was an aha moment for me when I heard her discuss that, because it never put it so simply for me of the difference between religion and spirituality. And I think we’re definitely coming into that time of that time of the world, where we’re stepping from believing, not believing, where we’re stepping from having that embodiment of a higher source into seeing that source in ourselves, and to quote religion, you know, we were created in the face of the Divine. So being able to find that in ourselves as the next evolution.

Absolutely. And, you know, with this ushering in of the Age of Aquarius, I mean, it’s a process, more and more people are open to this. And, you know, after everything that we’ve been through, having to be at home and go within, a lot of people have found that they touched into some deeper meaning that they didn’t even have time to touch into before and it’s, they’re realizing they don’t want to give it up. It’s indispensable. And you know, that, I love that like that divinity within and, and it’s like a both and consciousness. That’s how I, it’s part of my philosophy, where it’s like, yes, it is out there. And it is in here. And my archetypal embodiment workshops, we go in there, and we bring it in, and it’s, it’s there, and it causes transformation, because we’re going beyond the mind and we’re excavating the unconscious. And, you know, it isn’t always pretty to get what might be in the way of accessing our divine self. But once we get rid of all that, you know, stuff that it’s not authentic. It’s like a river of lifeforce, our connection to the divine, it’s our natural birthright.

It truly is. And that’s one of those. I think we’re incarnated, and this time in this universe and this world at this moment, because it is our divine birthright, and we signed up for it. And we agreed to it. And, you know, one of the things that you and I talked about, before we got recording was that you use tarot cards, not as a fortune teller, but as a snapshot of current possibilities, but lots can change. And then we have a soul contracts, we need to evolve in certain ways, but there’s so many ways it can happen. And that’s the beauty and the empowerment of the time we’re living in right now.

Exactly. I mean, the way I view it, that’s why we do divination to get empowered insight where we can, you know, affect the trajectory. It’s like, things are, some things are going to be out of our control, obviously. But having that heads up and having that consciousness, you know, just giving a little peek at what we’re drawn to what our passion is, you know, can give us a clue about some of our soul contracts. And yes, they can manifest in many ways. And just having that to affect the trajectory along the lines of what’s when it’s in our highest good, it’s in the highest good of the collective. And that’s really what my mission statement and motivation is.

So tell me something for you. What was one of the biggest moments and I know this is like putting you On the spot question, okay, but what’s a big moment in your life where you said, Yes, this is my direction. This is where I’m supposed to be leading and being.

Okay, well, I’m definitely the story I already told was the big one as far as by comparison to what I had gone through before. And then there were just a series of things that happened that led me to what I would call my soul group. So the herb shop was adjacent to the Renaissance Festival, and I performed there for decades. And then I met my future husband, and we did children’s comedy shows. And so I was able to bring a lot of my archetypes online, like the performer, I feel like I have that, you know, but it’s not. Like, for example, I dabbled in stand up comedy. And it’s like, a lot easier to make kids laugh. Because I don’t like to be mean this and roast people, I don’t want to be raunchy or political. It’s just not who I am. So being able to bring the magic to kids, you know, because my husband was a baby dragon costume really huge, and it would explode. And kids love that. And seeing their face light up and having them come and hug me and just, you know, having them open that little door in their little minds of inspiration of there’s more, there’s magic, there’s beauty that really touched me. I mean, it might not sound like a whole lot, you know, but just being able to spread that love and help kids because, you know, I’m very attuned to, you know, kids not being able to be themselves and all that, because it happened with me. So I’m very on the very sensitive to having people be able to just bloom and having a start in childhood is very important. And then I met a core group of people who I’m friends with today, who are just like, you know, basically, it was a little mini Coven me and my witchy sisters and a couple of brothers, you know, and just, we really did some spiritual development, you know, it wasn’t just getting together and partying. But we might have done that, too. We have vegan, vegan potlucks, you know, that was one big party thing.

I love it. Well, and you know, that was a great answer, because there wasn’t this huge moment for you. And I, for those who aren’t watching the video, as I asked you that I saw you kind of rolling your eyes and you were looking kind of through those memories, to find that moment. And it’s nice to hear that it’s all been an evolution and you sharing that kind of reinforces to the listeners into myself that life is an evolution, even though you started at 15. Because when I read your bio, I thought to myself, well, yeah, I was having experiences at 15. But I didn’t have a mentor, I didn’t understand anything. So it was well into my mid 20s. And then even farther before I really started allowing my experiences to be more than just a momentarily experience that I allowed it to lead my life. And I think there’s so many people at that point in life of, oh, I look back, and I think those did I waste time on so hearing even at an early age for you and a great mentor, it’s still been an evolution and a process for you.

Right? It definitely is. Yeah, even those times, of course, I wasn’t always feeling like I was on my path by any means. You know, like, I had, like a really bad relationship when I was 20 years old, and, and stuff like that. But it was just like, I wasn’t learning how to trust my intuition for my own life. And it may still be a challenge. It’s easy to do readings and look into other but we kind of get in our own way regarding our own choices. So learning to trust myself. And you know, I find skepticism is very healthy. And I do past life readings for people. And I had to get over my own skepticism, you know, and really trust and that was a process to, you know, to allow that to develop a little bit more as well. So anytime we get off the path that’s in quotation marks, you know, because it’s part of it, it’s necessary. And those dark nights of the soul are what, that’s that deep, deep soil within where we create. Basically, we create a new archetypal identity for ourselves a new iteration of what we are and it’s a little freer, it’s a little more on point, you know, and that’s gross. So we gotta go. We gotta feel

I definitely am a believer that when I think I’ve off my path that is more my path and when I think I’m on my path, because it brings me that time to consider. And you know, it’s something I’ve been saying to myself lately is that when I’m hitting struggles, it’s not the universe testing me. It’s the universe asking me my commitment to my path, my purpose, my direction. And just having that little shift of the universe isn’t out to get me but testing me, the universe is just asking me, Are you committed? Like, do you want this? Because if you say, Yes, I will make it happen. But if you say, I don’t know, then the universe says, Okay, well, when you decide, let me know, we’ll help you.

I love that. You know, and that just makes so much sense. And, you know, because it points to how something that gets in the way is the way people view karma. And it’s, they put a punitive deity type of vibe on it, like, and it’s really just energetic cause and effect, you know? So it’s like, yes, you get the opportunity to recommit to your, what matters. And I love how you put that and so much more empowering, you know?

Well, and it’s all just a slight mind shift, if you know. And so let’s talk about for a moment mind shift. Because when you say I worked at a witchy herbs, shop, my friends, and I witchy together, there’s also that connotation, that negative connotation when you say that, but it’s talking to you like, I’m completely drawn to you, I don’t think that you’re out there, you know, and I’m a product of the 80s. I don’t think you’re out there with a pentagram, sacrificing goats. You know, I think you’re connecting to Mother Earth and the nature. And so let’s talk about what that’s been like over the years for you. That’s stigmatism, because I’m sure that some people are listening to it, who are also products that the 80s And they’re like, oh, witchy. And that’s just an immediate turnoff. But let’s talk about what that kind of is. And you

know, I have a lot of compassion for that. But let’s just say my pentagram is right side up, just like the Sagaris drew it. And it’s all about all four elements in line was spirit. And all I’m sacrificing is outmoded beliefs and harmful ways of be that don’t serve myself, the world and the collective, you know, so, you know, there are ancient knowledges but I’m more. Okay, I like I put it like this, I like to stand on the shoulders of the ancients. And yet, what’s that cutting edge new thing that matters now, because we’re not the same consciousness as we were back then. I love the seasons, I’ll cast a magic circle in a heartbeat because it’s magnifies the energy for what I’m trying to do. And I’m not all I’m trying to do is for the highest good, you know, and it’s just something where natural wisdom has not been fostered in our society ever since many persecutions, right? And it’s been maligned and demonized, because we aren’t ready to trust ourselves. That’s changing. But you know, and I don’t want to open that can of worms, but let’s do it. Okay, so women’s power, and that, that feminine, like the tantra like the tantric, it’s very much like the same kind of thing where it’s like, it scares people, because it’s not orderly. I mean, I could go on and on about why we don’t have a good relationship to the dark. And I don’t mean bad or evil. I’m talking about the dark that germinates, the seeds, the Dark of the Moon, you know, the absolute required rest, you know, and let alone doing our shadow work. And, you know, it can even go so far as to say the fact that we have electric lights, we don’t ever have that, that dark cycle. But there’s all these little things that that come into play where our society and our souls are suffering from not having that connection to our own depths, you know, and there’s nothing evil about it.

Well, and I love that you I was trying to make notes about everything you just said, because the way you represented the dark was so beautiful. And you know, that moment of rest. The Dark is the winter, the dark is the germinating of the seeds. So thank you for letting us dig into that. Because I really do with the grand jury podcast, I want to open things up. I want to make the conversation more accessible. And I want to break those stereotypes. So being able to have that conversation, and you absolutely cracked me up when you said your pentagram pentagram was upright, but also saying that it’s the four. I’m sorry, I forget if you said four seasons or four directions connecting elements, four elements. Thank you. The four elements connecting with spirit like just saying that connects to me. As a gardener, and as somebody who really loves chakra work, so it’s neat to hear the differences is that all of our modalities intertwined. And it’s just finding the element of that modality that intertwines and resonates for you, because I’m a person who uses and sees so many modalities, and I kind of cherry pick what I want from everything, because that’s what resonates to me. And so that’s what the whole intention with the healing modality podcast episodes that I release is to allow people to find that cherry picking of what relates to them.

Right, and you know, some people might poopoo that path they have done that to me, and the only ones who I felt were doing it right and hopefully so was when people were spiritually bypassing and you know, doing that escaping thing rather than dealing with what’s there. And that’s like the shadow side of the New Age Movement, which I love everything new age, I can’t deny it right and why would I but I love that modalities intertwine phrase that you used because I also do chakra work. That’s a big way of how I get into the body when we’re doing the archetype embodiment work. And that just brings me to different traditions, almost, maybe not even consciously, but they sort of maligned the lower chakras. And the lower chakras are chock full of wisdom. Yeah, we do store trauma and emotions in our body, but we have to remove that energy, it gets stuck, you know, simply because in a healthy childhood response, you feel your emotion and it goes away. But kind of the way we are now it’s like, don’t cry, sit, still don’t feel that don’t express that, you know, and it kind of just get stuck. And then it kind of creates this ongoing thing. And then if we have family patterning, even ancestral patterning, that’s something that some of these cutting edge technologies are helping us to get in there and shift. So all the glory and beauty to the lower chakras, you know, I mean, I’m sending sparkling energy to my first chakra right now.

Why, and I think, you know, one of those things you’re saying is that we hold on to stuff, where it’s not just that we don’t feel or we don’t do this, but because we don’t feel because we don’t move our bodies. Because we don’t give ourselves permission, we hold on to that energy, we hold on to the anger. And that really blocks, you know, I like to say that the chakras are the dams in our body. And as long as we’re keeping that water flowing, then they don’t block us up. But when we hold on to something, and somewhere in particular, the dam gets stopped up, and the water starts to build up, and it just becomes a mess.

That’s a very good analogy. And then, you know, say that’s in process, and then you add to the mix, how we judge negative emotion, you know, it’s like, there’s this not so subtle admonishment that we should just be happy all the time. And that’s not, that’s not how it’s supposed to be, you know, not authentic, right. And there’s like, the more you allow your real emotions, I’m not talking about, you know, screaming in the grocery store, we’re talking about a sensible reality of being in touch with what you’re feeling, rather than number one, judging ourselves, we judge ourselves and we don’t have that compassion. But once we start to get that stuff moving, and you know, it’s a journey. So if you start don’t stop, please, then you’ll come to a point where you find even through the ups and downs, there is a some sort of inner peace or joy in the background, you know, it’s, it’s just from being authentic. It’s almost like a vibrational frequency, it’s a little higher than being in denial and stuck, and you can just feel it, it’s like, oh, whereas, you know, if you cry, when you need to cry to the best of your ability, you know, I mean, you know, with mindfulness and all that, but sometimes you just have to have a moment where you got to feel what you feel, and I believe we’re starting to see that we have to allow ourselves that, you know, room and space to just feel those deep feelings and process them. And then, you know, there’s this funny thing I said, spiritual bypassing, it’s very tricky, because you can also bypass the light, you know, you can get stuck in the processing and the shadow work. But there comes a point where it’s like a balance where we go back and forth, you gotta go back to the light. What inspires you, you know, it’s like, just like the cycles of the moon, the light, the dark, the light, the dark, we have to keep on going you can’t get stuck in shadow work, and you can’t get stuck in woohoo. I’m meditating up here in my upper chakra story realm. Yes, it’s a great place to be and we’re gonna go back there but you can’t stay there because, you know, we have things to do. So that’s all about the embodiment that matters so much to me where we bring our Spirit down into this world. And, you know, that’s been said to be the feminine path. But I don’t want to get stuck on gender terms. It’s just like basically the heights of the depths of the beat of being. That’s really what it is.

Yeah, I love that you said you can’t stay there, we have things to do. And you know, I have a myself sister and I have this conversation regularly, when one of us is in a really good place and really spiritually connected, and then comes back to Earth. And it generally comes back hard. And we talk about the fact that we are still human beings, and we do you have spiritual parts of our journey that we need to accomplish. But if we were just spirit, and that’s all we were, we wouldn’t incarnate on Earth, we would be doing the work in another realm. And so it’s finding that harmony between doing the work on Earth and doing the work spiritually while we’re on Earth. And that can be that can be a challenge. It’s not the universe challenging you. It’s yourself challenging you on that.

Right. And well, I wrote a blog about spiritual bypassing. And I touched on how, let’s just take the law of attraction, for example. So this is a universal law that’s been sort of wrapped up like a to our society’s Quick Fix mentality where we can just like bypass doing the work, and it really doesn’t work that way. Yes, aligning, and our thoughts help create our reality, but what creates our reality even more as the unconscious patterns moving beyond. And so I like to get down into the unconscious, you know, I’m very influenced by depth psychology, I was reading Carl Jung from 10 years old on I didn’t really understand what it was like mystical I was, I was a reader. And

I read a reader, but even at 40, I can’t get into I can, that was a deep

pressing, I was trying to challenge myself, but I’m really interested in the people who’ve carried his work forward, like Marion Woodman has a big influence on me, you know, and Joseph Campbell, because I tap into mythologies and all that in my work, you know, because we’ve named these energies, but they exist, let’s say like Persephone, for example. You know, that is an energy that we have, we tap into when we have to go do our depths. If we don’t do it willingly, we’re being dragged kicking and screaming, you know, that’s just one way to look at it. And it’s just so rich, when we allow ourselves to be beings of light and dark. And even that phrase, will intimidate someone and I might even still feel that a little bit because it’s scary, you know, we don’t give ourselves the room, you know, to when we come back down to make it pleasant, like I was talking about how, okay, so in my 20s, I went through a period where I thought that, you know, being vegan and doing yoga and all that was enough to help me deal with the traumatic parts of my childhood. And it wasn’t and they all came roaring back during my Saturn Return, and I was just sobbing and sobbing and sobbing, and that was my dark night of the soul. And I know now that that was a called, upgrade my archetypes and feel that out. And you know, there’s the archetype of Chiron the wounded healer, yet to use that somehow to help. Somehow even one person I don’t know, but it’s like a ripples on the pond, where if I tell my story, maybe someone won’t feel as alone. You know, it’s still a work in progress, me trying to transmute all that energy into goods. And that’s, it’s like an alchemy thing. See, here we go. All these little modalities, just playing it, and I got the, you know, the, the alchemy, the, you know, it’s beautiful. And I definitely love to take what serves from different traditions. Because if you think about it, you know, I’m a white person. And our deepest traditions were sort of, you know, eradicated when the witches were burned, you know, and when different, more nature oriented things were stamped out, that was like taking something away from us. So we do kind of have to look around for what’s it that’s just an example of why maybe looking at different modalities can speak to us because a lot of us many different people, many different you know, ethnicities and races have just been cut off right at the stem from the route of the mother, frankly, and that’s like all that ancestral wisdom, but it’s still there and we can still tap into it. And it’s happening because everybody’s feeling the call to depths to meaning you know, we can all just run ragged at full speed out there tending someone else’s garden. And why you know, we got to come back to center point.

Well, and I believe that one of the reasons we find so many modalities and for me personally, that I period, cherry pick them is because there are things that still resonate from past lives for me, from absolutely or I’ve been from who I’ve been from geographically to economically to, you know, every different level, every different aspect of myself, those things come back with me to this life because they helped me in past experiences and past lives. And those are the tools just like their friends. That’s why I say one of my best dearest is my soul sister, because I’m certain that we were picking cotton together in past lives, and there’s just different experiences that come through, no matter what your reincarnation looks like,

oh, my gosh, we can have some tea and talk for hours, I can tell I got stories. Oh, my God, I have goosebumps right now. Because, yeah, I have very similar experiences and feeling it? Yeah, you know, we are so much more than who we are. Now, we are just so much more really, and, you know, having that we all need to just tap into that soul esteem, you know, like, no matter what we are worthy, just by the fact that we are here. And just that alone will just give you a leg up in this life. You know, it’s like, there’s our factions that don’t really want us to be in power. I don’t like to say something like that. But it’s just, it’s the case, whether or not it’s a consciously malicious entity, or just something that has happened where, you know, we have to do a little bit of love rebel, we have to do a little bit of breaking out, you know, and that’s one of the, the archetypes I had to upgrade within myself, I had to take that, you know, take no BS rebel that I was dealing with, that definitely protected me and helped me. But the time came, I had to upgrade that to like, you know, a sacred rebel, you know, because we have to be able to bloom and express and be ourselves. And so yeah, I’m here to rebel against anything that’s going to thwart that for people. You know, I love my north node and Aquarius, it’s helped me to go ahead and let other people think I’m weird, because I really don’t care. And now that I’m 50, you believe I don’t.

Lately, I am not 50 yet, but every year, I get a little bit closer. And I care what I think and what I feel, but a little bit less. And that’s been the evolution of the podcasts, because I can definitely tell you that there was a time in my life, I was so afraid to share my spirituality outside of my immediate circle. And for me doing some past life work, it kind of came back that, you know, I was burned. And one of my nearest dearest husband was part of that, that actual process. And because she was so close to my circle, I was so afraid to share it because he was so close to my circle. And so it’s been through the podcast through lots of chakra work through aging and maturity and comfortableness and stretching. And, you know, and I don’t mean stretching in yoga, but just stretching my body and my soul and my skin, that I’ve gotten more and more comfortable with those words and saying those things. And I admire that you have gone through that journey, and you’ve been on it a lot longer than me. And I know there are people who are listening now who are going, I can never I want to but I just don’t know if it’s in there. And it is in all of us to do that. Oh,

my gosh, so beautiful. And oh man, I honor you. I feel with oh, I have similar experiences. And you know, I have to admit that I am not 100%, free of the fear of what I’m doing in the world, especially the archetypal embodiment is like a little bit, a little bit of step more towards the Wow, or woowoo. Or if you want to say, but I have no choice. I have to bring that out. Yes, you know, and I can’t let which wounds from the past stop me anymore, even though it has been something I had to work through. And it’s not always comfortable. But I being comfortable is also not a normal state to stay in. Yes, it’s not?

Well, and I think it comes down to you know, just to give a short synopsis of the experience I went through my grandmother passed away two years ago. And she was here way longer than she should have been. And even her passing of your hospice was way longer than it should have been. And it really made me look back and realize that she was so stuck here, because she didn’t do the work. She chose to never do it, which her generation didn’t know how to do the work and I believe it’s my generations honor to heal that inability for our grandmothers and for our mothers so that our daughters have their own healing to do and I just think that me personally that’s why One of the things that is my honor and my chosen choice to do not everybody has to do it chooses it. But for me, it’s kind of a, it’s something I’ve very much honor. And I’ve been kind of toggling back and forth with granting journey and the podcast and my offerings that I offer out in the whole world. And there came this. I don’t want to use identity crisis, but I can’t find the words that I want to say. But it was definitely almost a spiritual crisis. But that sounds like way deeper to I need a word in between those two, that I knew if I didn’t do the work, if I didn’t step out and do the healing, not because I had to, but because I chose to the regrets that I would have for this life, if I didn’t do it. And that’s so motivating some days when I don’t want to do it. And I don’t want to do the work. But you know, at the same moment, my father in law keeps asking, Well, what’s your podcast, I found that listen to your podcast, and I never tell him the name of it. Even though he’s a big Seth reader. They’ve seen Deepak Chopra. Like they they’ve been into all that. I still don’t want to open that side of me. Like, I’m perfectly good, opening it to my listeners and conversations with people as beautiful sold as you but there’s still that like, oh, no, don’t need my other people in it, you know?

Yeah. It’s like, you know, I love the name grounding journey, because that is exactly what we need. We’re bringing that spirit in and, you know, on some level, aren’t you glad that we get to do this?

I mean, choice, it’s honor. Yeah, our,

our mothers and grandmothers didn’t get to. And so I tried to keep that in mind that we have the opportunity, we get to do this. And, you know, it’s it’s something that it’s, it’s, it’s that double edged kind of, but you know, it’s necessary, like you said, yeah, so Well, RG for continuing

well, and I have one of my you know, I’ve got three amazing friends that I refer to on the podcast, I’ve got my soul sister, my best friend and my sister of choice. And my best friend, we have lots of fun spiritual conversations. Also, one of the things that she gets so frustrated with is her mom isn’t doing the work. Her mom isn’t involving her mom’s in her, you know, 60s, and she’s not, but my friend is so and I’m really hoping she hears this episode and like actually hears it. She gets so frustrated or mom, because my friend is doing the work and she’s doing the processes, and she’s digging into her wounds, and she’s digging into her healing. And she just wants to beat her head against the wall I for her mom. And every time she talks about it, I just think your mom’s not here to do the work. Your mom is here to be the motivation for you to do the work. And it’s just her mom’s not going to do it, it’s never going to change at her point, because she doesn’t have that desire. But it’s, it’s our honor to get to do the work, and to be of this generation.

So I needed to hear that I’m getting well, I

noticed your response, looking at you physically. That was intense.

Yeah. I’m going through that with my mom, you know, I just want more for her. And at the same time, I though I’m 50 years old, I feel I want my mom to look at what I’m doing. And I have this whole link tree of accomplishments. And she doesn’t even care, you know, and it’s like, I just want her to acknowledge me, but also, the choices that she’s made for herself has created a rather difficult existence, and I can’t fix it. And that frustrates me. So I really need to hear that. You know, she has like parts of herself that she’s just not in touch with. So she can’t relate to me. She straight up said she can’t relate to me. She loves me, you know, but it’s, I needed to hear that she’s not here to do the work. It was there to motivate me to do the work. Wow. Whoo. That Well, I’m

glad I shared it with you then. And maybe it was for you and not for my friend. But I think and you know, I think there’s other people that heard that too, because we are of this generation, and you and I are only four years apart. So we are of the same generation the same time. And I believe that so many of our listeners are part of this. And it may not be necessarily the age generation, but the time that we’ve come to this life, the time that we are here showing up to do the work. And for those of us who look at it as we chose it, and it’s an honor, not we have to. We chose it and it’s an honor.

Right and we Have more circumstances where we can make the choice? And so yes, they even have, like, women have an older age, you can see that guilt of wanting to do anything for themselves. And they see people who are trying to create a life and they almost get that they’re selfish or who do you think you are kind of vibe, and I have to try to have just as much compassion for that as possible? Because they can’t. They didn’t have the means to have their eyes open. Metaphorically or literally, I don’t know. But yeah, I felt like the little armor just came off my heart like team. And it was very freeing, like, Okay, I can’t fix her. It’s another reminder.

Yes. And three months, you’ll need that reminder again, because it’s all part of the work is to have those little seeds dropped along the way that eventually grow into what they’re supposed to be. So thank you for letting me be a part of that for you. Thank you for hearing that.

Yeah. That was meant to be for real. Yeah.

Well, I know that this conversation has been so much fun. And it has been all over the place. I just looked down. And we’ve been talking for 45 minutes, and I had no idea it had been that long. And I definitely think we need to schedule a time to have some coffee and to chat about coffee, and to just chat and further because it’s really been fun to talk with you, Nikki. Yeah, well, and unfortunately, we didn’t talk as much about your tarot and the services you offer. And I know you have a new program that’s releasing, like the week after this episode releases. So please, I think all my listeners are gonna really want to check you out and learn more about you tell us about this program you’ve got coming up.

Okay, so first of all, I’ll say that regarding my tarot, everything that we talked about, sort of plays into that. So the Tarot in the past life is all about the finding ways to upgrade, right. So regarding the upcoming workshop, it’s embody your artists archetype. And the link is in the link tree, and it’s on Eventbrite. It’s over zoom, and you can have the replay. But if you do choose to enroll being in the circle is very empowering. So what we’re going to do is we’re going to go in there and alchemize some old beliefs regarding whether or not we’re an artist, you know, whether or not we are a creative, you know, you don’t have to be a painter or a sculptor, or whatnot. Because if you look at it, with a large vision you are creating all the time. And so we are going to we seek to get in there, we’re going to alchemize old beliefs, we’re going to touch into the inner child and call in some higher parental energies. And then we’re going to go straight into some Greek gods to Festus with his purifying Forge, and he was wounded, vulnerable, we’re going to transmute those vulnerabilities, turn them into strengths, and he created the bow and arrow for Apollo and we’re going to tap into Apollo’s energy and upgrade that as well. And the Nine Muses are going to show up, I don’t want to give it all away, but it’s going to be a shamanic experiential journey that’s beyond the mind beyond the intellect. And then we’re going to tap into the intellect of course afterwards, because we need both, but we’re gonna get in there and move some energies, and we’re going to upgrade some archetypes, just, you know, Alchemy.

I love that. Well, we will definitely put the link on our website at grounding journey. podcast.com. And the workshop is coming up with the date of it.

It’s April 17, at 7pm. And I understand that that is Easter. I figured, well, we went ahead with it anyway, because most Easter celebrations are in the morning, right? But if you do want to do that, there is a replay you know, and I would suggest doing the workshop more than once anyway to get it. Get it in there really get in there. And I’m just so excited about this work. The archetypal embodiment is just something like a missing piece, you know, that I have found. It’s like the body is really where we have to put that spiritual energy.

Absolutely. Well and give us also your Instagram and your Facebook handles so people can find you if they’re on social media.

It’s just taro with tot tiara, all one word, and then my link trees on the website too. So that’s taro was taught tiara.com And then it has all my media podcasts, upcoming workshops. I’m going to have past workshops for purchase once I have them edited, you know, eventually, but it’s got all of my everything on there. So yeah, great. Well, fine. Well, thank

you so much, and we are going to do a bonus episode. So we’re gonna figure out what that is. I’m just gonna leave it with our followers check out grinding journey podcast.com For all of your links to social media, to your website to the workshop, and then check back with us in a couple of days for the bonus episode and it will be I’m sure wonderful and exciting. So thank you so much, Tatiana, for being here with us, Nikki for being here with us. As we said earlier, Tatiana is your magical name that you use when you’re in that realm. And then the key is what you go by also so people can find you both ways. Thank you again so much for the conversation and thank you for your vulnerability was great. Thanks for being a part of my journey. I would love to be part of yours. If you’re interested in being a guest on grounding journey. I would love to hear from you. Please visit my website Browning journey podcast.com and you’ll see the link to apply